I’m addicted to over-achieving
And I'm rewriting the rules of hustle culture to build a business I love.
On Thursdays, I share thoughts and stories from everyday life as a female founder, mom and writer. Think: personal challenges, goals, writing, creative living and so much more.
I gotta be honest, the title of this post is a lot for me to swallow. But it’s the truth — I’m addicted to over-achieving. And it’s taken me years to realize it, maybe even more to admit it.
And this addiction translates into me over-working, over-committing, over-raising-my-handing, over-doing-everything.
Now, I’ve always known that I’m an achiever. I actually pride myself in that fact. Which is such a classic achiever thing to do.
Any personality test I’ve ever taken pumps out results that indicate some form of achievement.
I’m a classic enneagram 3
“Achiever” is my top result from the StrengthsFinder test
All those random quizzes you’d take in magazines? The results always pointed me to the same thing. I’d get matched with famous achievers. They told me I was most likely to achieve whatever. I learned my biggest fear was a fear of failure (this one’s debatable).
So being an over-achiever is not news to me. It’s the addiction part that I just recently came to terms with.
Please know that I’m not saying being an over-achiever, or just a regular ol’ achiever, is a bad thing. Because it’s not, at all. I love achieving things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s be real, I’ll continue to brag that I get “achiever” in all my personality tests.
But the need I feel to constantly pour myself into things so that I can keep climbing, keep reaching to the top — that’s where my addiction comes in. And, honestly, that’s also where the exhaustion comes in.
In working for myself, that addiction has become even more apparent. Because there’s no one telling me that I need to work late, to crank out extra hours on the weekend, to create the next great thing. There’s no boss or team or agency I need to show up for. Yes, there are clients — but these are clients that I’m saying yes to, projects that I’m taking on my terms. If there’s ever a prospective client that’s expecting insane hours from me, I say no every time.
Yet, I’ve still caught myself working late hours, extra hours, weekend hours.
Now, those hours don’t burn me out like it did in my agency life because I’m working for myself. I know those extra hours, that extra work is coming back to me. I’ll be the one rewarded for it.
And that right there is what can turn into a very big problem for an over-achiever.
As an entrepreneur, when I get caught in the cycle of over-achieving and over-working — more than likely, I’m getting rewarded for it. I feel that high of success. It fulfills that achievement side of me, and then I want more. And that, my friend, is how an addiction starts.
You hit a high, get rewarded, then want more. Over and over again.
I had this realization last year, when I looked at the hours I was putting into my business. I was saying yes to so many things that I actually didn’t have enough time to finish my client work during the day — turning into late nights and weekends. The exact reason why I left the agency world behind.
Yet, here I was, creeping right back into my old ways. Because I was getting rewarded for it.
My business was growing, my revenue was growing, my network and pipeline and leads were all growing. I was getting literal awards for what I’d built. So, of course, my achievement-driven self was loving it.
But guess what? My definition of success doesn’t have any of these things in it. It’s not based on more money, more clients, more awards. So why was I working so hard to get those things? It’s what I’ve been trained to want. It’s what you’re supposed to want in the corporate world, what you’re taught to go after in school. And when you pair those teachings with a person who strives for achievement, it can be a deadly (read: exhausting) combo.
Once I reframed my business and looked at it through the lens of my definition of success, my achiever qualities shifted. Now, I’m not working my ass off to try to get more. I’m actually working my ass off to do less.
What can I achieve in four hours today that will bring in the income and growth I want? Then, how can I spend the rest of the day doing whatever the heck I want?
I’ve been completely flipping the switch on achievement and rethinking my system. I’m putting my energy into the things that will energize me right back.
More writing and creativity.
More community and connection.
More automation and passive income.
More growth while doing less. Talk about the ultimate reward.